Poor Man's Lo Mein

So, the unthinkable happened today. We ran out of rice. No Asian person's kitchen should ever be rice-less but today it happened. So I improvised.

Poor Man's Lo Mein


Spaghetti noodles
Chicken
Cooking oil
Soy sauce
Brown sugar
onion
green onion
baby corn
garlic
ginger
ROOSTER SAUCE

Note: The baby corn and ginger are optional but they add a good flavor. Baby corn is around $1 for a can and you can throw some tin foil over the top of the can and keep it in the fridge. It'll last you a few good meals. It can typically be found in the section of your grocery store marked ETHNIC.

Side Note: I always feel awkward shopping in the Asian Ethnic section of the grocery store. I'm not sure why this is. I feel like everyone is expecting me to only buy fish heads and weird cabbage-y shit and when I check out I will pronounce my 'l's as 'r's.

Boil the noodles in some water. If you don't know how to do this you should stop. Put down the noodles. And go away from the kitchen. You do not belong there.

Get all of your mix-ins ready. Chop the onion, green onion, baby corn, and garlic and throw it in a pan with a little oil. Once the onions start to get translucent (translation: smells delicious and looks clear) you are ready for the chicken step.


You will find yourself with an incomplete rainbow. Many of the most delicious foods, you will find, are brown. Or white. Or colorless. Most green things are bad for you and taste like ass.
Start cooking up the chicken bits with the veggies and, once the noodles are done throw them right into the pan (sans water). Liberally douse with soy sauce and cook with about a tablespoon of brown sugar. I sprinkled in a little ginger but that's not necessary. Almost no one keeps that shit around the house. If you do use ginger remember that a little bit goes a long way. Use more than a sprinkle and your whole dish will taste like ginger which is gross.


FINAL STEP: POUR SOME ROOSTER SAUCE ON THE BITCH.

SOMETIMES BEING POOR CAN BE AWESOME.