Sour Cream and Chive Chicken with Herby Potatoes

Last night I ran out of most of the magical things I use to make food and I am on a pretty for reals diet right now. No more snacking, walking everywhere, and no excess butter. This is the toughest one. So I decided to try something new. I didn't do so well on the butter but I sure did walk my fucking ass off yesterday so I suppose it evens out.

SOUR CREAM AND CHIVE CHICKEN with HERBY POTATOES


Stuff You Need to Serve 2:
2 Potatoes (peeled)
2 Boneless Chicken Cutlets
Sour cream
Chives
Garlic (fuckin' minced)
Pam (for sprayin')
Any herb blend (I used Herbal Pizza Magic)
Parmesan and Roasted Garlic dressing

I chopped the potatoes into itty bits and tossed them around in a pan with healthy sprays of Pam and the herbs. You can throw salt/pepper/oregano/basil in there or cheese or whatever, it'll probably all taste good. I used this Pizza Magic junk one of the roommates keeps in the cupboard.


It looks ... like this.
It's a saltless blend of herbs and cheese so it tastes pretty fine on everything. You really can't fuck up herbs and cheese. I baked the now herbed-up potatoes at 475 degrees for 15 minutes. While those were in the oven I cut open the chicken breasts in the center and threw them in a pan with a little oil. I know I didn't tell you to have oil in the ingredient list but since you're fucking cooking I will assume you have oil. Any oil.

Let those get cooked around the outside and then throw some chopped chives and minced garlic in alongside them in the pan and cook those to a nice, soft texture. At this point I also poured a little Parmesan Garlic dressing into the cuts I made in the chicken to give them a little extra flavor. This is optional.

Keep everything steady at a medium heat or your chicken will burn outside and not cook inside. I stuffed the chives and garlic into the chicken slits (that sounds fucking horrible) and closed it off with a dollop of sour cream. Then, I covered the pan and let it chill for about ten minutes.

I also made garlic croissants from a Pillsbury tube. You can do that, too.

The last step is putting everything onto a plate and eating it.

Chef Shack - Minneapolis Food Truck

I'm currently reporting from the Minneapolis U2 Concert and I am terrified to go outside. I've never seen so many suburban moms in one place and I grew up in Eagan. It took me fifteen minutes to walk two blocks. There is a $25 million stage about one city block from me. I can see the huge, green top of "The Claw" look at me like Cthulu from the depths.


This. This is what's happening. And that is one parking lot.

But, Bono aside, I wanted to report on my first Minneapolis food truck experience. Minneapolis has a burgeoning food truck culture and I could never be bothered to find a moving restaurant until today. Something in me craved a challenge.

So I headed to the Mill City Farmer's Market to meet up with The Chef Shack.



There wasn't much of a wait and outside of the shack there was a table set up with about six tubs of different pickled veggies. I also grabbed the ominous bottle of XXX sauce.



They were also, unfortunately, out of the beef tongue taco when we got there around 1pm.


An excellent specimen of nacho for only SIX DOLLARS.

I got the Shack Nachos, tortilla chips (with a perfect hint of chew) topped with pulled porn, queso, garden salsa, and guacamole. You may think this is craziness but this was the first time I have ever had guacamole in my entire life. My boss laughed at me when he saw this picture and said that the nachos didn't look anything like food but they were amazing. The salsa was incredibly fresh and had a pickled flavor to it and the guacamole had a hint of sweetness that I don't think is natural in the avocado. There were also some very succulent roasted black beans in there.



Gwyneth and Anneliese, my farmer's market friends, had the sweet potato tacos. Without the sprinkling of queso I believe they're vegan. They were made with roasted black beans, mashed sweet potato, the garden salsa, and queso.

The farmer's market was, all in all, amazing. They had a fresh squeezed juice stand that looked great but I already had a tea with me so I didn't get to try it. The entire market shut down around 2pm so I'll have to remember to get there much earlier next time. They had a pesto making demonstration at 10am that day.

After the Chef Shack we were fortunate enough to grab the last of the Sonny's Ice cream. I mixed the frozen hot chocolate with toasted coconut and it was probably an 8 on my ice cream scale.

Rainbow Dash Pony Mod

RAINBOW DASH PONY MOD:
MAKING RAINBOW DASH 20% COOLER
So I was sitting up with Boyfriend, watching some horror movie where someone cuts the power to the house and dresses up like a terrifying clown to murder a bunch of people. Then the power went out. With only a lighter and a phone I suddenly felt weirdly, terrifyingly weak. So this is what happened:

Me: "HELP ME DRESS I WILL NOT DIE NAKED THIS NIGHT"

Boyfriend: "YOUR CLOTHES ARE INSIDE OUT OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING."

I started wildly grabbing for my phone but knocked it to the ground. I know that we keep both loaded guns and sharpened swords in the immediate vicinity but, with absolutely zero light, I wasn't too sure of my ability to operate them. If this were a zombie apocalypse my best bet would be to lie down in the bed and die.

The lights came back on within a minute but, shaken, I knew what I had to do to restore equilibrium to my world.

Look at happy, wonderful ponies!

RAINBOW DASH PONY TIME
I was pretty excited to find a Rainbow Dash waiting for me at Target when I went last week. Usually it's just a wall of Rarity and Applejacks so finding a Rainbow Dash AND a Twilight Sparkle was an unusually treat.

Unfortunately, this is the abomination that greeted me from inside that colorful Hasbro plastic box:


Each moment this unnatural beast lives is like a thousand years of misery.
So I got my tools out and went to work.


I didn't use all of these tools but I gathered them all for good measure. Most necessary were the scissors, thread, and brush on super glue. The needles are nice to manipulate the thread when it's tied and mixed up in pony hair.


The first thing I did was separate the colored chunks of hair. Her bangs were orange and red where they should have had some yellow mixed in. Her tail was solely blue and green and there was no purple anywhere. So I rearranged her bangs and mane by forcing sections around and tying them in place with thread.

I trimmed some yellow and orange from her mane since her hair is much, much shorter than what comes in the box. I set this aside to add some variety to her tail later.


Once all the hair was where I wanted it I super glued it down. You can see here that I precariously glued a swatch of yellow, orange, and red onto her tail.


I tied a little bow on her butt to cover where the extra hair was connected and there she is! At least 20% cooler than before. Her bangs aren't quite as raggedy/awesome as I wanted and her mane isn't super full but I feel like she's a much better facsimile than the Hasbro ponies that are pumped out from the same mold. The only thing missing now is an angry little line above her eye to make her look extreeeeeme.


Chilling with Twilight and my pony coloring/activity book!

Tune in next week when I tell all of my friends I can't go out because I'm washing my hair but I'll actually be modding my Applejack pony!